So this week I’ve had one of those crisis’ of confidence where I just feel like I’m never able to do enough or if I do it I’m not able to do it 100% – and that can really grate! That sometimes nothing I seem to try seems to be good enough or work!
Oh course no one has actually said that but sometimes it all just gets a bit overwhelming and a good old freak out, curl up on the bed for a cry just needs to be done! And then a new day dawns and the
brats children are so much better behaved and even feel the need to say “I love you” occasionally and give some cuddles and you wonder why in the world you needed to let the ugly and nasty all hang out!
As a mum I think we all feel like that some of the time (well I hope it’s not just me), where’s the blooming manual and why can’t we get report cards to let us know how exactly we are doing (maybe I don’t actually want one – it might say fail!)! So many little issues happen where I wish there was a guide or some guru to ask if what we are doing is right!
As a Christian I know where my dependency should lie “We can gather our thoughts, but the Lord gives the right answer… Commit you work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed” Proverbs 16:1,3. But sometimes I forget that. Sometimes I forget I have good friends (actual and bloggy friends) to turn to “the heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense” Proverbs 27:9.
No matter how crappy the day or how crappy I feel as a mom, how many crappy decisions I’ve made that day, how many times I’ve lost my temper and shouted. I am still the only mom my children will have and you know what I think the good stuff outweighs the bad I things I do. They’re not hungry, they’re clean (mostly), clothed (most of the time anyway) and loved – all good things!
So today I am going to “cease striving and know that He is God” Psalm 46:10. I’m going to choose to bask in the fact that I have been so blessed to be chosen by my children to be their mom, that despite all the areas I feel inadequate in they are happy, funny, healthy and know they are loved! I may be inadequate, not good enough and imperfect but God isn’t and I can trust in Him!