Helicoptering, hang backing and hovering!

Man I love my boy.  My petite little cuddle bubs.  My girls, they’re chunky and solid (yes I love them too!!)but my boy, he’s a skinny malink, I can feel his little bones.  In his shoulders, hands, ribs, little knees and hips.

It makes me realise how fragile how he is.  In actual fact how fragile they all are.

Yes they bounce, especially the boy. He falls, moans, wants a kiss and then runs off to do it all again. But my job, our job as parents is to protect them. And sometimes I don’t feel I can do that as much as I want to. Especially after this evening as my littlest at 11 months crawled all the way up the stairs – yes I was hovering behind her ready to catch her! It my absolute worst, the stairs. The slips and not looking where they are going and getting distracted and carrying things up and down and walking now crawling up and down too darn early, I hate it, I hate it all! My heart is always beating to fast and feeling like it’s going to jump out of my chest!

That part of letting go and letting them fall and make their own mistakes, that’s hard, blooming hard. I know we have to and I have never been a “helicopter” parent.

Sometimes I want to be, I want to stop the bumps and bruises and hurts that happen in their lives. But I can’t and so I try to teach them to deal with those hurts and pains.  The physical ones, sometimes those are the easier ones.  It’s those emotional ones that leave the deep scars. Kids can be mean, i hope my kids aren’t one of those, and daily as often as possible I try to build up their confidence and love for themselves so they can deal with this.

This week Jenna came home from playgroup telling me that she had 3 new friends. The next day her “best friend” was at school and she told me that she didn’t play with any of them because the said best friend was there.  I would hate to think she was one of those kids that didn’t want to play with anyone else and said NO, when asked if others could play with them.  Needless to say I’m not the biggest fan of the idea of exclusive best friends, possibly because I had such a lovely group of best friends.

We’ve been working of good words lately, how saying nice things make people feel good and make their heart happy. She now walks around telling everyone she loves their hair, or shoes or skirt – yes even when they are mank.  But it’s lovely! So the discussing was extended to include playing with others and how being inclusive of others and her feel good.  Obviously the flip side was explained; how would she feel to be excluded by friends.

Saying all of this I don’t even know if she or her best friend did exclude others. But protecting my kids has got to include teaching them to protect and look after friends so they can understand the concept.

Yes it’s a long waffly post! Are you an over protective parent? How do you deal with the whole best friend issue, does you child have one? What do you think of exclusive friends at the age of 3,5 years??

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