I’e recently been lent a book to read by some lovely friends.
It’s been a challenging book. A book that has changed the way I think about the way I parent.
I’m not going to go into details about the book, mainly because I haven’t finished it and I’m still trying to get my head around the whole thing. But I would recommend having a read. It’s a Christian book, and based on a Christian experience BUT if that’s not your thing just read past it cause it has some fab bits in there.
Extreme abreviation: You can live in fear, or you can live in love. Living in fear leads to trying to control others, to force others to conform to your ideas and terms. Living in love on the other hand is understanding that you can only control your self and your own reactions. Living in love means giving others (your children) the freedom to make their mistakes and own choices. Living in love means being there to support them when their choices = undesireable consequences (obviously not dangerous life and death stuff).
It’s teaching your children through showing them respect to respect you. When they respect you they’ll respect your rules.
It’s not about giving them free reign (we love them too much to do that) but about giving them positive choices. They can choose to have fun and be nice or be grumpy in their room. They can choose to eat their dinner or go to bed and be hungry until breakfast. They can pick up their toys or mommy can do it and pack them away for a week.
Now I haven’t worked the whole thing out yet. BUT I’m making the choice to control my reactions. I’m hoping that them seeing my control will teach them control. If the only person I can truely control is myself them I best do it well.
What is your parenting philosophy, do you have one? Or do you go for the flow, do what you feel is right or follow the norm or books??